So (if you're willing), please say hi in the comments and introduce yourself. (And if you're not a new reader, but you'd like to say hi, I'd love that, too!)
Christine's marriage turned out to be affectionate and secure. With both her husband and her father well employed in the King's service, her family faced a prosperous future. Soon after the de Pisan-du Castel alliance, however, Charles V died and with the change in monarchy de Pisan's and du Castel's positions and salaries were reduced. Within a few years, both men died, leaving Christine as a grieving twenty-five-year-old woman, with three children, a niece, and her mother to support. She had no means of income and faced complicated lawsuits to recover salary due her husband.-From Jenny R. Redfern's "Christine de Pisan and The Treasure of the City of Ladies"
Mary Astell's early years were probably happy. Her parents, though not particularly rich, were reasonably well-to-do, and she grew up with the advantage of a comfortable home. All this changed within a relatively short time. First, her father died. It then became apparent that his financial position was insecure. . . There was nothing left over to provide an adequate dowry for her. Soon after the death of her father, her formal education came to an end with the death of her uncle. She continued to live with her mother and aunt--two other Mary Astells--until their deaths. . . A young girl of her class was, of course, expected to marry--provided she had a dowry. Mary Astell had none.-From Christine Mason Sutherland's "Reclaiming Rhetorica in the Seventeenth Century"
But with the unexpected death of her father in the autumn of 1835, the twenty-five-year-old Fuller found herself suddenly responsible for her own support as well as that of her widowed mother and her six younger siblings.
-From Annette Kolodny's "Margaret Fuller: Inventing a Feminist Discourse"
At sixteen, responsibility was thrust upon her when her parents died suddenly of yellow fever and she had to take care of herself and five younger siblings.
-From Jacqueline Jones Royster's "The Rhetoric of Ida B. Wells"
When the humanities evolved into what C.P. Snow has termed "two cultures" of the arts and sciences, rhetoric was left betwixt and between--too situated and self-interested to be scientific and too calculated, political, and utilitarian to be literary.Stuck in the middle with you. That's rhetoric.
those who study in the "contact zones" influence the history and future of the discipline far more than has been recognized.And elsewhere:
Those at the boundaries of the dominant culture tend to be intensely aware of the differences marked by those boundaries.In other words, it's the placement in a difficult position that makes the need for rhetorical skills apparent. Take a look at all of those women's biographies again. For almost all of them, there was not only a set of very dire circumstances, but a drastic change in circumstances. There's no need for rhetorical development when everything is going fine, and even if everything is not fine, if it's always been that way, the need for rhetorical mastery is less apparent.
It's a kind of survival tactic that people, caught between the worlds, unknowingly cultivate.I am especially interested in her use of the word "unknowingly" here. This almost suggests that la facultad is an evolutionary, maybe even biological, reaction to conflict.
Fear develops the proximity sense aspect of la facultad. But there is a deeper sensing that is another aspect of the faculty. It is anything that breaks into one's everyday mode of perception, that causes a break in one's defenses and resistance, anything that takes one from one's habitual grounding, causes the depths to open up, causes a shift in perception. This shift in perception deepens the way we see concrete objects and people; the senses become so acute and piercing that we can see through things, view events in depth, a piercing that reaches the underworld (the realm of the soul).How is Anzaldua's notion of la facultad, a sense that she sees as something that deepens one's connection to Self and soul, connected to those other rhetoricians' struggles?
looked closely at her life, named herself, claimed her own vision of reality, claimed her own authority to speak the truth that she saw, entitled herself to this authority, and made the decision to use the tools of rhetoric and composition to bring about what she perceived to be much-needed social change.Royster compares Wells' rhetorical navigation of her complex position to a "'dance' without a net along a rhetorical tightrope between these two spaces."
Langston knows my husband and I can’t see. That we are both blind. He never points at things and always attempts to verbally describe something to us. He knows that if he wants to show us something he can’t describe, he needs to bring it to us or us to the site. He even manages to show us where our dog threw up without having us touch it directly or touching it himself. “Mess,” he says in disgust, “mess, mess!”And, while I'm busy gushing over how much I'm loving Brain, Child, check out this other article from them from a mother who took her daughter to a heavy metal battle of the bands:
I wait five minutes then walk over to the boys. “You in the band?” I ask and they stop talking to stare at me. I am in white jeans and a blue button-up blouse. The boy with the ring in his nose and spider web tattoo on the corner of his eye looks at me. “We are,” he says, and he smiles, his voice normal like my son’s voice. I don’t know what I expected. “Meet the members of Indecent Exposure,” he says. “I’m Tack, this is Freeze, and that’s Jebs.” I reach out my hand for a handshake, notice the skull ring on Tack’s middle finger. I wonder how I would feel if Sophia brought one of these boys home for dinner.I'm not completely convinced, but I do have to admit that hearing that Ken Hoinsky (the author of that Kickstarter assault book proposal) has set up meetings with anti-assault activists to help ensure that his book does not promote any non-consensual advances. I really, really want to believe that this is genuine and that this guy just really didn't get it but is trying to figure it out.
The sad thing is, when the flash bulbs do pop and fade, you are left, in the pulsing after-light, with a keen sense of how unhappy people can be with what they have achieved in life. Perfectly successful people. With perfectly good lives. And you come to appreciate the ones who have figured all that shit out.A nurse reports on the most common regrets she hears from dying patients.
I appreciate your view and your comments, but I aslo don't like the remarks your making first of all the Public Saftey Committie does not pick and decide where bills that are introduced go to that is done by the Board President, the 18 people that were shot in a matter of hours all knew each other according to police and third of all seeing kids and adults walking around with their pants and shorts hanging showing their ass is not only dissapointing but yes disgusting I sure wouldnt want my 4 year old grandaughter seeing that.Look, I am not the grammar police, and as I have written about in the past, I don't think that grammar should be held up to judge people's intelligence or abilities, but I do expect a certain level of professionalism from an elected official.
Again everyone has an opinion, I dont hink people should get locked up for sagging pants, but I think the Alderwomen wants to see something done so people respect their selves and others.
I am disappointed that it sounds like you support this bill.
So, to paraphrase: "I never said I liked the bill. I just said that I support what's in it."I really notice people already know im supporting something when they have no clue and neither do you, I never said I liked the bill, I simply stated that something should be done reguading the matter it is disgusting to see kids and grown men wearing their shorts the way some do, the police should write a summons and the city fine them, then maybe they will pull their pants up.
Perhaps if I was confused by your wording, it is because your original letter was so full of run-ons, typos, misspelled words, comma splices, and other grammatical errors as to be almost unreadable. I can only go off of your own words, and your own words are unprofessional (really, including the word "ass" in professional correspondence is fairly asinine.)I'm not sure I should have said that. It's snarky and mean, and I try to keep my correspondence a little more balanced in tone. However, by this point, I was absolutely struck by the hypocrisy in a man who wants to police how others dress using such a crass mode of expression himself.
This entire exchange has been combative, rude, and unprofessional. I was not attacking your grammar or spelling out of spite. I literally could barely read what you wrote. The sentences all ran together. It looked like something that was written without any care, thought, or proofreading. You are treating me incredibly disrespectfully when all I did was use my rights as a citizen to voice an opinion.And later I said:
Grammar is much like style, actually. Here's an interesting article from the New York Times that explains the connection. I don't think that proper grammar makes someone a good person. I also don't think that sagging pants makes someone a bad one. I find it ironic that you think it's okay to attack someone's fashion choices (and you said yourself, in an email that I can quote back to you if you would like, that you support fines for sagging pants), but you yourself are making such poor grammar choices in a professional setting. If you felt insulted by my comments, imagine how a young man would feel who is being arrested and fined for his clothes.
Well I have never had a person in my ward complain about the way I communicate with them on my page so im glad you don't live in my ward.What?! I have kept my tone professional and tried to focus on the topic at hand throughout my entire exchange. I am a citizen of the City he works for. He is on a Public Safety Committee that serves the whole city (not only his own Ward). Furthermore, as a representative of the City, his statement that he's glad I'm not one of his residents is isolating and cruel.
Michelle,This is a politician who is being elected by the citizens of St. Louis and paid by our tax dollars. He is serving on a Public Safety Committee that determines laws for the entire city, and he literally told me that my voice does not matter to him and that he does not want to hear from me.
Thank you for finaly ending this conversation, because you are almost at the point of harassing me, I certainly don't have to answer to you on anything, my concerns are the people in the 12th ward.
You may contact the Mayor and the President all you want, the bottom line is the people in my ward vote also and I do include them in my voting.
Please do not respond back, but I do understand your concern on the issue.
The fact that the woman touted as writing the first feminist manifesto could twice attempt suicide after Gilbert Imlay's rejection of her is a source of ideological discomfort.Yes, Wollstonecraft wrote increasingly desperate letters to a man she loved with whom she had a child. Her letters suggest that he continued to encourage her by promising to return from the business trip that had taken him away, but the date kept getting pushed back further and further. When she discovered that he was living with a mistress, she attempted suicide. Even as she planned a second suicide attempt, she continued to write him and lay out an argument for his return based on his promises, commitments, and love.
Alderman Antonio French says the bill inordinately targets young black men.And, yes, St. Louis has a race problem. We are one of the most segregated cities in the entire country. There is a long history of racial housing discrimination, and a recent report shows that black people are arrested at 18 times the rate of white people for marijuana use in the city (despite nearly equal total population numbers).
“It's another way the city is sending the wrong message to the young black men of the city," French said. "We need to be embracing this population, offering more opportunities and let them know that they have a partner and a friend, and not this adversarial relationship.”
"If you don’t know it, it comes from the prison system," Davis said. "When a man walks around with his pants down, it says 'I'm available for you to use me.' Is that how they want to represent themselves in the community? I don't think so," Davis said.This is not true, so please, please, please stop saying it. (As a side note, it worries me that someone who apparently can't even do basic internet research is in charge of proposing laws for our city.)
|I'm supposed to be the spider, but I'm growing increasingly |
suspicious that I'm actually the fly in this metaphor.
Decide that you’re going to sit in a position where you can rub her leg and back. Physically pick her up and sit her on your lap. Don’t ask for permission. Be dominant. Force her to rebuff your advances.And this:
Pull out your cock and put her hand on it. Remember, she is letting you do this because you have established yourself as a LEADER. Don’t ask for permission, GRAB HER HAND, and put it right on your dick.What Hoinsky is suggesting is not just sleazy, not just creepy, but a crime. You cannot physically grab someone's hand and place it on your genitals without consent. That is assault.
Before even applying for the first tenure-track job, many women with children have already decided to drop out of the race. They have perceived a tenure-track job as being incompatible with having children. In our study of University of California doctoral student, 70 percent of women and more than one-half of the men considered faculty careers at research universities not friendly to family life. Others are married to other Ph.D.s; the “two body” problem. In those cases, one body must defer to the other’s career and that body is far more likely to be the woman’s. Or their husband’s career, not in academia, limits their choices. As one biology graduate student in our study said, “My husband has a job he loves, but it will require that we don’t move: This limits my postdoc and career options significantly. I think the chances of staying in the same city throughout the career and finding a tenure track position are almost nonexistent. However, I am not sure I care any more.”
Sam eventually made it through the rest of the song, bowed, and took his seat. We, his parents and grandparents, were extraordinarily proud that he had not run straight out of the room like I imagined I would have done in his place. And of course that was the issue right there. Sam had shown all the strength and fortitude any parent could wish for a child in that moment. But I was too busy projecting how I would have felt sitting on that piano bench. I couldn’t seem to separate myself from Sam—I was Sam, Sam was me.
My ideal pupil will absorb instruction with ease and will even ask some questions; but he will follow rather than anticipate his teacher. Precocious intellects rarely produce sound fruit. By the precocious I mean those who perform small tasks with ease and, thus emboldened, proceed to display all their little accomplishments without being asked. . . They have no real power and what they have is but of shallow growth: it is as when we cast seed on the surface of the soil: it springs up too rapidly, the blade apes the loaded ear, and yellows ere harvest time, but bears no grain. Such tricks please us when we contrast them with the performer's age, but progress soon stops and our admiration withers away.Uh-oh. I fear that I am raising a child Quintilian would say has sprung too rapidly.
But my mom stepped in. "1 - 2 - 3," she counted (as if Mikko knew what counting means in disciplinary terms!). She snatched the Crocs off his hands, opened the car door and threw them in, locked it with the key fob, and marched away without looking back. "There."When Lauren (whose blog is about natural parenting and who frequently talks about the gentle discipline methods she believes in that encourage discussion and choices over authoritarian command) confronted her mother about stepping into her parenting boundaries, the confrontation continued:
"Mom," I said, trying to keep my stupid voice from breaking, "we were handling the situation. I don't appreciate it when you step in and take over like that. We're his parents, not you."
My mother gave this hardly a beat before she came back with her response: "Well, you sure don't act like the parent."And if you want to see how downright hostile some are to kids and their childish behavior (because they're kids, after all), just check the comments of any thread on child bans in things like restaurants or airplanes.
If people didn't let their kids run around like animals we wouldn't need to ban kids!To which some wonderfully enlightened person shares frustration over not being legally allowed to spank another person's children in public.
Alfie Kohn, author of 'Unconditional Parenting. Moving from Rewards and Punishments to Love and Reason' says, "When I ask parents, at the beginning of my lectures, what their long term goals are for the children, I hear words such as ethical, compassionate independent happy and so on. No-one ever says mindlessly compliant."
A compliant child becomes a particular concern, Kohn admits, when they reach adolescence. "If they take their orders from other people, that may include people we may not approve of. To put it the other way around: kids who are subject to peer pressure at its worst are kids whose parents taught them to do what they're told."Many other people, especially those within the attachment parenting or gentle parenting movements, have similarly questioned our insistence on obedience.
A more appropriate goal for our children would be cooperation. Cooperation strengthens the underlying fabric of relationships through balanced interchange, open communication and mutual understanding. Demanding obedience damages the relationship as well as the self esteem of the child. A child that is cooperated with tends to want to cooperate in return! The child who has no will to choose has no room to develop self discipline and becomes the child you were trying to avoid in the first place.Socially, though, there isn't a lot of room for this kind of parenting. It is also utterly exhausting. I try really, really hard to focus on cooperation with my child instead of making her blindly bend to my will, but I sometimes fail. When I'm trying to get her out of daycare and we need to be home because there are 10,000 more things to do before we can go to bed, she wants to drink water from the fountain, say goodbye to the fish, put every single doll back in its respective bed, run into every room to say good-bye to every teacher, get another drink, say goodbye to the fish again, take the dolls out of the beds and throw them all over the floor, get another drink, put them back in the bed, hug her teacher again, say goodbye to the fish, open the first door to get outside, run around the lobby, open the second door to get outside, open the car door on her own (which she can't physically do), climb into the car seat by herself (which she also can't physically do), pick a book off the floor of the car, read it, get into the car seat, buckle it herself, and then listen to a song of her choosing.
Over the course of this past semester, I confessed to several of you that I was actually pretty miserable. About three weeks into the semester, as my son was screaming in my ear about an hour past his bedtime, I told my partner “I quit.” At the same time, I regularly tell people how lucky I am. I love my job. I have colleagues telling me that I’m doing a “good job.” And, presently, I’m still here, here being in this PhD program, and I don’t have any actual intention of leaving, leaving being not completing the degree program requirements. How does that make any sense? It’s not at all a case of indecision – I think instead it’s a symptom of the multiple stresses in my life right now. And I also think it’s a matter of intention and choice in working to manifest the present I want, and not quite yet succeeding.
Model Creativity. What’s your creative outlet? Where do you enjoy putting your creative energy? Cooking, singing, gardening, drawing, dancing? Children who watch their parents engage in creative activities are more likely to embrace these activities themselves. If it’s been a while since you’ve done something creative, think about what made you happy in your own childhood and spend half an hour doing that activity with your child. How did it feel? Could you try it again tomorrow? And the next day?Um. Adorable:
Don’t take my word for it. Consider the data: in hundreds of studies during the past decades exploring 16 character traits — including leadership, maturity, extroversion, social participation, popularity, generosity, cooperativeness, flexibility, emotional stability, contentment — only children scored just as well as children with siblings. And endless research shows that only children are, in fact, no more self-involved than anyone else. It turns out brutal sibling rivalry isn’t necessary to beat the ego out of us; peers and classmates do the job.Some likened this "You Can Touch My Hair" project to a petting zoo; others saw it as socially progressive.
Much of the progress that women have made in income parity has gone to childless women. Motherhood, writes the sociologist Joya Misra, is now a greater predictor of wage inequality than gender in the United States. According to her research, conducted with Michelle Budig at the University of Massachusetts, Amherst, motherhood imposes about twice the earning penalty in the United States compared with what women face in countries that have expansive publicly financed child care systems.In 1961, this woman was asked sexist questions on her Harvard application about how she would handle a career and motherhood. She just got around to answering them.
But I'll now know it's always in the back of her mind, how she thinks I suck at this parenting gig. I'm not sure how much I care about her opinion, but it does make me sad that she doesn't see the joy and connection in our family and concentrates instead on our perceived failings as disciplinarians.