tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5827968588643415787.post9011333167964002238..comments2024-03-27T06:58:00.659-05:00Comments on Balancing Jane: Woman on Woman Action Part 3: Defensive AttacksMichellehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07801229525416203656noreply@blogger.comBlogger3125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5827968588643415787.post-7840689832305258942012-03-21T11:07:05.143-05:002012-03-21T11:07:05.143-05:00Hi Balancing Jane-- great post! I like what you sa...Hi Balancing Jane-- great post! I like what you say here:<br /><br />"Too often, women are shown that their strength must come at the expense of another woman's."<br /><br />This is so true, and is well evidenced by the other songs you cite. <br /><br />Another song on this topic that doesn't involve violence is Brandy and Monica's The Boy is Mine. http://youtu.be/Va1Y6uAgNJY Both women believe the man is theirs, but clearly he is playing both of them! <br /><br />Hopefully more women will recognize what you say here:<br /><br />"Success and strength are not zero-sum games. In fact, the sum of our whole can be greater than our parts, but we must first be willing to subvert the narrative that tells us otherwise."smashhttp://smashesthep.wordpress.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5827968588643415787.post-62842604328547842762012-03-20T07:19:59.057-05:002012-03-20T07:19:59.057-05:00Oh definitely--I've been part of a few toxic t...Oh definitely--I've been part of a few toxic triangles myself. It reminds me of this quote from Percival Everett's novel Erasure: "I don't believe in race. I believe there are people who will shoot me or hang me or cheat me and try to stop me because they do believe in race, because of my brown skin, curly hair, wide nose and slave ancestors. But that's just the way it is."<br /><br />Just because it's a social construct (and I'd be willing to bet that the woman who attacked your relationship was acting within a social construct of competition) doesn't mean that it doesn't hurt or impact our lives in very real ways. <br /><br />I'm sorry that you lost a friend, but I'm glad you and your partner were able to walk away without damaging your relationship.Michellehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07801229525416203656noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5827968588643415787.post-2713623873140811162012-03-20T03:32:44.275-05:002012-03-20T03:32:44.275-05:00Sometimes an individual woman is actually a bad ac...Sometimes an individual woman is actually a bad actor, and all of your feminist bona fides cannot help you communicate with her. I despise the ways that patriarchy forces us to compete (or think we are competing) rather than cooperate, and I actively work and write against that narrative. However, I did have another woman (unsuccessfully) attack my relationship. My partner and I had to walk away from what purported to be a friendship. Talking with her still doesn't seem like an option, despite my wishes that she be healthier and happier.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com