I stepped out of the car to pick my daughter up from daycare and heard the flock of birds who had gathered in a nearby tree. Looking up, I was hit hard by the memory of my daughter, around a year ago, reaching up with her tiny little hand and pointing to the birds in that same tree (maybe the same birds--I don't know enough about migration). Eyes wide, she said "bird" for the first time. The birds continued gathering there through most of early fall, and she was prouder and prouder each time we left the building and she could correctly identify them.
That memory made me yearn deeply and completely for another baby. I imagined all those moments of nurturing a tiny life and getting to see all those amazing firsts unfold all over again.
Later that night, I wrestled with my toddler for two hours to get her to go to bed, and I realized I had lost my damn mind.
Ha ha! I never have those baby cravings - I love kids most when they are 3 and up. I sometimes question my "motherliness" when I hear other women craving babies, so it was nice to read your last sentence. You made me laugh and feel the teeniest bit of relief at once. =)
ReplyDeleteRobin
I have the same questions about my "motherliness" because those first three months were mostly just exhausting. I'm sure there were beautiful moments in there, but I was too tired to remember them. :)
DeleteI love this! I was the same way when Sammy turned four. I couldnt take it anymore and well...I am now 6 months pregnant. And I wont lie when I say I am definently not excited for when she begins to walk and get into EVERYTHING. Oh and potty training! Ughhh. Sammy will be six in Novemeber so at least I can have him help out a little. I cant wait to smell baby hair again. They are only babies for what feels like a month. Sammy's first word was,"shit". I can of course now look back and laugh, but at the time i was devastated.
ReplyDeleteOne of the things I miss most about sammy when he was a baby was the look on his face when he saw a fish tank for the very first time. Everything was so intensly amazing to him and I miss that. His eyes so wide. He must have starred at the tank for at least 30 minutes. Which in baby time is about 2 days ;) I think i am different than most people as well. I enjoy babies most when they are tiny. Its three and up when it becomes exhausting :)
Congrats on your new baby girl! I completely get what you're talking about with the fish tank. Watching them discover the world for the first time is like discovering it all over again for yourself. It makes everything so much more amazing.
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