Five Thoughts About this "Boot Camp" Ad

These began popping up all over the city just as the early-blooming daffodils started to die in the forty-degree temperature drop that happened to coincide with my "spring" break.

As I'm driving past all of these other harbingers of warmer weather in the form of body shaming calls to get "summer ready," I've had some thoughts. 

1) A pound a day?! Is "boot camp" a euphemism for "back to back to back to back stomach flus?" 

2) 678? Where the hell is that? (Googles, but not while driving. Safety first.) Atlanta. Well, this is St. Louis, so that's weird. 

3) That shadow woman certainly looks confident with her Wonder Woman pose, and her shadow hair is nicer than my real hair. I don't think this image conveys what they want it to convey. 

4) Speaking of that image, did they cut that other woman out of her? Is the thirty pounds she lost out there dancing somewhere with those jazz hands? 

5) Maybe this was originally an Atlanta-based pixie exorcism company who decided to recycle their logo when they picked up and moved out of town in shame.