My daughter's playing contently somewhere nearby, so I sit down and open my laptop to check my email. She appears immediately at my side, calling upon some telepathic powers I desperately wish I could harness (could you imagine how much easier the morning commute would be?)
She sits quietly, crosses her hands in her lap, and looks up at me blinking the biggest, sweetest eyes you'll ever see: "See Elmo please."
I sigh, having read exactly one email subject line, and it was of course spam. I didn't even have time to delete it. "Not right now baby. Let's read a book."
Her, undeterred: "See Elmo please." Blink. Blink.
"No, baby. Let's read your Elmo book."
Her, getting frustrated because she's learned the rules. She said please, by God. That means she gets what she wants! "SEE ELMO PLEASE!"
"Okay, okay. Just one Elmo."
"Lalalalala." "Mommy, mommy, mommy. See Elmo?" "Mommy, mommy, mommy. See Big Bird?" "Mommy, mommy, mommy, see elephant?" "Mommy, mommy, mommy. Lalalalalalala?"
My only solace is that, do you see those page views? 74 million? I am not the only one losing this game.