Tuesday, November 29, 2011

Yesterdays I Miss and Tomorrows I'll Love

I know that I promised, back in May, to be more present-focused and not give in to the just-you-waits or the you'll-wish-you-had-this-backs. For the most part, I've stuck to that promise and appreciated each stage of my little girl's growing up as it happens. But here, two days before she turns one year old, I'm feeling a the edge of sadness seeping into my optimism. So, in a moment that is both celebratory and bittersweet, I'd like to step outside of the present and take a moment to look back and forward.

The Things I'll Miss

  • The way it felt to lie as still as possible and watch her sleep curled up into a little ball on my chest 
  • The frustration that always gave way to stubborn determination as she was learning to produce her first sounds--that might be a touch of my headstrong ways shining through
  • The mohawk she had before the hair on the sides of her head grew in
Mohawk, baby!
  • Swaddling her up like a little burrito and praying that was enough to keep her asleep for two (please, Lord, just two, that's all I ask) hours
  • Her first giggles, which were unpredictable and contagious
  • Those little bitty onesies, especially the warm, fuzzy ones with rubber on the soles (cause six week olds do a lot of walking)
  • The feeling I had during those first few weeks home from the hospital, falling into a rhythm and becoming a family
Now, to balance out that wave of nostalgic sap, and to battle the fact that apparently years go by faster than I can blink, I've also started thinking about some of the things I'm looking forward to doing with her as she gets a little older. (I even made it the subject of my first Pinterest board, because--you know--I don't have enough social media platforms to procrastinate on). 
  • Playing dress-up! Not the frilly, princess, pink kind (unless she really wants to, sigh), but the kind with capes and masks and animal ears
  • Going to the best place in the world
  • Teaching her to cook (yeah, yeah, gender roles and whatnot--if I have a son someday, I'll teach him to cook, too)
  • Introducing her to my favorite books 
What about you? What do you miss? What's still to come? And how do you fight back when the years go by a little too quickly?


  1. Sweet post! I was not nostalgic about my first son turning one, but his birth was tough, and I think I had some undiagnosed PPD. But I am already a bit sad about my younger son getting bigger (he's 13 months). To the point that I think I might want a third...ack! Luckily they are both cuddly, which makes the getting older easier. That, and the awesome conversations you get to have when they really start talking!

  2. I was so excited for him to walk and crawl, but now I miss the hours he would just sit with me. He can't sit still for very long now and cuddles are much fewer.
    I try not to miss much either because where he is right now is so exciting (17 months). But I am looking forward to playdoh, painting, cooking, museums, movies, waterslides, nature walks, and my favorite books. The last year and a half with him has been the fastest of my life, so I'm trying not to rush those things too much!

  3. Oh, yeah. I'm excited for the talking. I think right now she's waiting for me to learn her language rather than the other way around.

    And Play-Doh! Just thinking about the smell of new Play-Doh makes me happy.